11.09.2009

Deep Water Faith

A couple years ago God used a song by Casting Crowns to really speak into my heart and John’s heart. We were convicted about the way we were living out our faith (or maybe more like the way we weren’t living out our faith.) We were stuck in a rut. We were in this “in-between” place in our lives. We desperately wanted children, but 2 days before Christmas received a phone call from the doctor with our final analysis: infertile… not likely to ever have biological children… 6 percent chance. For the past year we had been living with our focus on getting pregnant – and staying pregnant. After two miscarriages, what seemed like thousands of tests and doctors visits and co – pays, and even more tears, heart ache and pain we came to a point where we realized we weren't putting our trust in God. We were stuck in the place of refusing to let go of our plans and our dreams. Behind us was a trail littered with tears, shattered hopes, and broken dreams. Ahead of us was the future God planned – the dreams He has for us – the hopes He wants to fulfill. But we just couldn’t seem to get from our past to our future. We were caught in the middle.


Thankfully God didn’t let us stay there. He loves us far too much. He launched us up out of our pit and onto a new path – His path. A path filled with hope and faith. After a message that broke our hearts and led us to repentance we found ourselves on our knees and re-surrendering EVERYTHING to God. He tenderly mended our wounded hearts and torn spirits. Then He started speaking and we listened. This led to us becoming foster parents to the sweetest twin two year old boys on earth! It was a hard path – and some people thought we were crazy – but it was God’s plan. I wonder if we would have ever done that if we’d refused to let go of our dreams of biological children. But, God’s plans for us were to provide a loving home to two little boys who desperately needed one. It wasn’t easy for us … but faith never is. We were blessed beyond measure for our obedience in this way.

Next God launched us out of our comfort zone again and into unchartered waters. He called John to seminary and asked us to give up everything to follow Him in this way. We had no jobs, no living arrangements, a house that wouldn’t sell, and two months before classes started and we had to move! But, we had come to a place where we knew that not following the Lord’s call would be detrimental. So we continued on and in the space of 3 weeks God sold our house, found me a job, found John a job and provided a home for us. We were blown away. The move has not been easy – there are days when I really miss our comfort zone and wish I was still back in the boat. But, I know I would be miserable in the boat and that it’s much better to be walking on the water with Jesus.

God is doing it again. We’re being launched out of “comfortable” and into the unknown. Into an orphanage in the most impoverished country on earth. Into the heart of a child we haven’t met. Into a decision that will change our lives forever. He has called us to adopt a baby from Ethiopia and we are following. We are excited and scared. There is a lot to go through from now until we get from here to our son. There is a mountain of paperwork and a lot of money to be raised. But, God will provide for all our needs. He always does. He who called you to it will get you through it! Please pray for us … our deepest desire is to …

Be fearless warriors with reckless abandon and deep water faith, accepting the God who is and trading our dream for His….

18 comments:

Katie said...

It takes great courage to go through what you have. I admire you for trusting God and not yourself. He sometimes makes it very painful. I love Casting Crowns there music is so life changing. I can't wait to hear more and more about God's plan for your lives.

Alicia said...

Oh, Lauren...I loved reading this! What an exciting time for you and your husband. Just imagine, that God already has your baby picked out for you.

coffeemom said...

Lauren, thanks for the comment on my blog and I am happy to "meet" you! Went to school w/ Teresa! high school! I"m excited for you and this next new step...it's a wonderful adventure, a rollercoaster, but so worth it. If I can help in any way, ever, just email! Best wishes!

SnoWhite said...

with God... it's always an adventure. I'm with you -- I love that song and how it talks about trading our plans for God's. It's taken me a while to get there, but honestly, I do not want to be anywhere else.

Kristen said...

this is beautiful! good luck!

Denise said...

You are very inspiring.

summur braley said...

Wow, I am so encouraged by your story! Thank you for sharing. I am following you and am so glad I found your blog. Praise Him for your baby who is not yet with you but still yours:)

Joanne@ Blessed... said...

"Growing UP Monday" is always a joy when you contribute Lauren.

My heart lept when I read you are adopting a child, your child.

Heartache is the breeding ground for God's miracles. When I lost my baby boy in my second trimester, I was in a deep depression. How could I lose a baby whose tiny kicks I'd already felt?

But, I wouldn't have my daughter Grace if that hadn't happened. I will hug my baby boy one day, and until then I get to hug my baby girl.

He is good ALL the time.

Steve said...

May the Lord bless you as you follow HIM.

T. J. Knowlton said...

What a journey! That is a beautiful testimony of change, and you guys are definitely no longer in the "shallow end". Congratulations, warriors!

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Awesome. What a blessing YOU are and what a blessing that baby will be to you both. Praying my friend....

American History said...

We are praying for you.
We found this site helpful www.holylandprayer.com Check it; maybe it gives you a relief.
God bless you.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I just knew it, and don't be surprised if God should continue to bring one blessing along after another to you both as you continue to walk in faith, trusting him with your tomorrows. Prayers? You got 'em girl. You have for a few weeks now. I shall continue as the Lord prompts me.

Blessings on you and on the baby boy your heart now holds.

peace~elaine

crittyjoy said...

This is such a beautiful testimony. I love how you likened it to the water and a boat. I love how He has blessed you each time you have launched out of your comfort zone. It's so scary...yet so very worth it!

Praying for you and your husband and your precious little boy to come.

He & Me + 3 said...

This is so wonderful...God is so right on time. He will totally see this through & guide you every step of the way. I am so excited for you both. Praying with you.

Rachel @ Future Pastor's Wife said...

This post reminds me of how He takes our ashes and makes them into beauty! Thank you for always being vocal and testifying for Jesus!

Power Up Love said...

Lauren, Thank you for letting me re-post and share your story at PowerUpLove.org

May God bless...

LindseyRockers said...

you and your story are so inspiring! it must take so much strength to carry the cross you have ben given, but the light is at the end of the tunnel and soon you will have a baby. BTW i love that song by Casting Crowns, and I'm definitely your newest follower!

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