5.20.2010

Called to the Fatherless: a Barren Mother

 John and I traveled "back home" last weekend to be there for a very special college graduation. It was only the second time we'd been back since we moved last summer and it was a wonderful visit. While we were there we had a looooong lunch with our Chaplain and his wife (who are more like Dad and Mom to us!) We haven't kept in great contact over the last 10 months mostly because they are so busy and we are so busy - and our schedules don't always line up. So, they were dying to hear all about how we came to decide to adopt and then all about that journey. It was so amazing to retell the story and just see God in all of it. I had also never really shared out loud the spiritual work God has done in my heart through this adoption process and it was incredible what I was hearing come out of my mouth. When we finished sharing, Chap had two verses come to him ... James 1:27 and Psalm 113:9. Those two verses have been extremely precious to me over the past 7-8 months we've been on this adoption journey.

Chap and Kathryn are so excited for us, and so happy to have a better understanding of this journey. Chap encouraged me to write down much of what I shared with him so that he could share it with others and get the word out. I sat down Tuesday morning and began to type... 2 1/2 pages later I was finished. (and I had to leave a lot out just because it was getting so long! haha) As I read over the story God has written for my life so far I was filled with joy and tears spilled down my face. I want to share just part of it for you today (don't worry - it won't be 2 1/2 pages!)
 
From childhood I have dreamed of becoming a mother. From childhood I have had a tender heart toward those in need. As I've grown in faith and years, the Lord has only increased those traits in my life. I still long for the day when I hear a child call me mama, and I still cry when we pass a homeless man on the street or see pictures of orphans in Africa. For a time I tried to dismiss these things. I tried to stifle them and become someone else. But the Lord has shown me that they are a crucial part of who I am, and who He created me to be. He made me with a mother's heart, a compassionate spirit, and a barren body. The last few years have taken me on a journey of realizing that God never makes mistakes, and embracing who I am has opened the doors to my life's calling...

giving the orphan a home ... and right now that means adopting a little boy from Ethiopia.

The last seven months have been a spiritual journey life nothing I've ever experienced. As we have filled out each piece of paperwork, completed several interviews, made payments, and waited we have grown into our calling. I have come to a complete peace and acceptance that I am unable to carry a child in my womb. I have been launched into a calling that I never would have dreamed up myself ... but so perfectly fits who I am. My heart for the orphan has been expanded in way I though impossible. I have peace, joy, and excitement! I know without any doubt that God made me with a perfect plan in mind. When he shaped my anatomy he knew that I would have difficulty with carrying children. When He breathed life into my soul and put desires in my heart He knew that I would long for motherhood. He also knew that my heart would break over the plight of the fatherless children. He knew that I would do whatever it took to give them a home. he knew that race, gender, color, and genealogy would make no difference to me. He that one day my eyes would be opened to the wonderful plans He made for me. God knew that I would take Mark 9:37 and make it my mission, "whoever welcomes a child like that in my name welcomes me."

John and I have stood amazed at the work of God in our lives. We have watched as He has provided for every need we've ever had. We feel honored that He is now using us to meet the needs of others. It's required a complete trust in Him. But through His Spirit we have gained the courage to say that we would literally go to the ends of the earth to serve Him and serve others. We're in awe that God has chosen us for the unique calling of looking after "the least of these." ... and that He has chosen me (for now) to be a barren mother.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."
James 1:27

"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children."
Psalm 113:9

©2009 Living By Faith

20 comments:

Michelle (michabella) said...

What an awesome sotry of how God has and continues to work in your life! <333

Amy said...

You have such a tender heart! I think I've said this before, but I truly mean it when I say that you are going to be such a wonderful mom! Of course, you know I would think of a song as I finished reading your post today ~> Hillsong's "To the Ends of the Earth"!

Kristin said...

I love to hear these kind of stories, where you can see God's plan unfolding perfectly!

Chloë said...

that's beautiful. you are an amazing woman of God, and dearly loved by your Savior. can't wait for your baby boy to be home.

Sarah Ann said...

It's just awesome to see God's work in your life. Your faith in him is so apparent, and I know that he rewards that. What blessings he gives when we least expect!
I can't wait to see this little adopted one :)

Jenn said...

Thanks for sharing and putting this into words! It actually gave me goosebumps to read it...I was so touched!! I can't wait until you have your baby in your arms!

Jayme said...

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart. Great post. You are an inspiration.

Hoping the wait isn't much longer and that your little guy is in your arms very soon!

3 Blessings said...

I am so happy to be a witness to the beauty God has created in your life that has led to your son.
I cannot wait to see him in your arms.
Much love,
Amy

Lara said...

Beautiful!

Kelly said...

What an amazing story! I am praying for you often!

Joyeful said...

I know I've read your story before, but I couldn't help crying over this again--but joyful tears this time! God takes such delight in you, sweet Lauren!

Our Star in the Sky said...

So touching! Thank you for sharing!
Jenny

Carrie said...

Beautiful...touched my heart in many ways and resounds in my soul. I love how God weaves others into the adoption process, although most times it comes through pain, but the joy and the blessing he provides in the end..like nothing else! I cannot wait until the child he has for you is home and in your arms. It will be here before you know it (I know easier said, but having been on both sides it really is true).

Melinda said...

I've loved following your journey and knowing what's waiting for you at the end of the road :-) You're about to experience an incredible miracle...just you wait!!! Holding your own sweet baby in your arms for the first time is indescribable!! Can't wait for that day to come!

Critty said...

What a beautiful journey you have been on. You shine for Him my friend. So brightly. So beautifully. He is doing wonderful things in you and through you.

Southern Loves said...

I am SO happy I came across your blog...My favorite scripture is your header!! That is so awesome you are adopting!! My grandfather is a missionary overseas, and I hope to share his mission through my blog and adopt as well someday!! :-D

~ Marlie

http://www.southernloves.blogspot.com/

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I can't wait until baby Tucker makes his way home to your arms! It's going to be a great mothering moment for you... even more so than what you're feeling right now.

I'm so happy for you three; please keep me posted.

peace~elaine

Alicia said...

Lauren..that was just beautiful!! You have such a gift with writing, and expressing yourself so eloquently!

Brooke said...

Lauren,
I just love hearing your heart and your story! We are praying about this process...we are in a journey right now with a baby in my belly that will not live...and adoption has always been a heart issue for us. Ethiopia has been on our hearts for YEARS!! It is fun to hear your journey!
I have good friends doing the same...we just bought tshirts from them as a fundraiser...just an idea to raise money...here is her website..
http://flipflopsandlipgloss.blogspot.com/
Praying for your journey and praying you move up that waiting list QUICKLY!! :)
Brooke

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

My friend Carol believes that infertility just may be God's way of caring for the orphan. I know it is his way of turning ashes into beauty. I wish so many of my friends who are having trouble conceiving now did not see it as a curse, but a calling, the way you do!! God bless you sweet momma!! Can't wait to see your baby boy in your arms where he belongs.