11.23.2010

broken

 I've just had these thoughts rolling around for a bit and a song I listened to recently brought some clarity to what I had been feeling...

The longer I live - the longer I go through life and all that comes with it I learn a truth that cannot be denied. This world is broken. We are all broken. There is no life on earth that is unbroken.

I bought a new cd the other week. Matthew West's Story of Your Life. He had thousands of people write to him and share their stories, then he made his entire album based on those stories. I had the privilege of sharing part of our journey as did many others who walk the same path I do. The result was track #5 One Less. The album has so many amazingly beautiful songs and as I read the stories for each one and listened to the music the same thought kept coming to me... "broken, this earth is so broken." Every single song had an element of pain, heartbreak, or rejection in it. Whether it was the struggle of a middle school aged boy dealing with learning disabilities, a young girl coping with the divorce of her parents, another girl recovering from injuries in an accident, parents grieving the loss of their child, a daughter working hard to pick up the pieces of a dysfunctional home, or the plight of an orphan... every story starts with something breaking. Something that should have been right, should have been whole, should have been good - winds up shattered to pieces.

We all have events like this in our lives. There's a moment in time for each of us when it all comes crashing down. We lose something we hold dearest in the world. We face disappointment after disappointment. As Natalie Grant sings, "the sacred is torn from your life..." If you are alive on this earth it is simply unavoidable.

All through our adoption journey I have been recognizing this more and more. This world is broken. My son shouldn't have to grow up with the pain of knowing he has another mother that couldn't raise him. Even though we will tell him every day of her great love and sacrifice - of her beauty and strength - it will still hurt that she is half a world a way and unable to hold him. And I think of her... of Tucker's birthmom. She shouldn't have to ache each day knowing that she will never see her baby boy again. She shouldn't have to wonder as the years go by what her son looks like, what his first word was, when he took his first steps, or what he will grow up to become. But because this world is broken they will both carry this hurt in a corner of their hearts.

And I think of myself. I shouldn't have had to say goodbye to my unborn children. I shouldn't have had to grief the loss of babies I carried, and babies I won't ever get to carry. And I shouldn't be the one who gets to be Tucker's mommy. But I do. I get the greatest heartache and I get the greatest joy all because this world is broken.

But there is a reason. There is HAS to be a reason for this world...



©2009 Living By Faith

8 comments:

Natalie {Extraordinary Love} said...

wow, this touched me like you wouldn't believe.
We can take comfort in knowing that God created this world knowing it would be broken and that is why we have salvation. What would we ever do without Him?! I don't know how people get through life that way. Praise Him for the cross!

Critty said...

This is so beautiful expressed.

I read a quote the other day that said God cannot heal our brokenness because we do not want to admit to being broken in the first place. I know I find this true for me...and I realize how much the work does the same...we refuse to admit we are broken. That we need healing. Until we come to that realization...well... I am just thankful that there is something waiting at the end of all this.

<3

Julia said...

This is so touching. I can't wait for you to have your baby in your arms. Thank you for sharing your journey. xoxo

Sarah Ann said...

Again, this is so touching. We all have brokenness in our lives, and without it, Christ's death would mean nothing to us. Thank goodness that in our brokenness, we can be healed.

V said...

I heart u and this post :)

Amy said...

What a great song! I may have to post it some time! ;) I don't know how people get through hard times without the hope and strength that Jesus brings. I know that in my situation, it has helped to know that He is there & I'm not alone. Sometimes we get too comfortable here, when ultimately our prize awaits us, huh? It's all about bringing Him glory & showing the world the way to Him, regardless of our earthly circumstances. Thanks for posting this great reminder!

mrsnice777 said...

What powerful words! Thanks for sharing!!

Jamie
@ forget-me-notohlord.blogspot.com

Alicia said...

This was so beautiful, Lauren. It made me choke up.