3.01.2011

{figuring it all out...}

Our little man has been with us for about 2 1/2 weeks now. I am still trying to figuring it all out - how to do the day-to-day with this new addition. I need to get myself into some sort of schedule, which is a LOT easier said than done right now. It is my new goal for the week, though. So here's what I am going to *attempt* to figure out this week:

A consistent bed time and wake up time for all of us (this is really hard because we're up 6-7 times per night with Tucker so we wake up any time between 6-8am.) For those who want to come in strong with the sleep training advice or the "let him cry it out" method - thank you, but we can't do that. Things are very different with an adopted child and his security and bonding are at stake. We won't be able to do any sleep training for quite some time, and the most important thing right now is to make him feel as safe and loved as possible. That means when he cries (even if it's every hour) we get up and go to him. This also means we are very tired... but it is worth it!



A laundry/ cleaning/ cooking schedule. Wow is it different with little boy clothes, burp cloths, wash cloths, towels, and bibs! He produces quite a bit of laundry in one week's time mainly because he's the king of blow out diapers (at least one or two per day), spit up, and drool. Gone are the days when I do laundry because I realize we're running low on clean clothes.


A work schedule. Yep - I have had zero time to do any sort of Poppie Lane things since we've been home. Thankfully, the orders I have received are for things that I already had made! But, I do need to get into some sort of groove because starting on March 15th Poppie Lane is partnering with it's FIRST FAMILY!!! Yes, on the 14th I'll be introducing you to this wonderful family who is bringing home a little BOY from Ethiopia... and the best part? I got to meet him when we were there for our second trip!!


I know from experience that having a little routine will free me up for even more time for snuggles, kisses, and play time with my son. :) So please pray for us... along with figuring out a loose schedule for my days we are also making some decisions regarding Tucker's medical/nutritional needs. I am hoping for this to be a very productive week!

PS- you all had the most wonderful advice for me on my {mom hair} post! Thank you so much! After thinking about it all weekend I have decided not to do anything drastic - I may get an inch or two off (but it's so long that no one really notices when I do that but me!) As for the suggestions to give it to locks of love or beautiful lengths - that is something that I may do someday, but I will have to grow my hair out MUCH longer before that can happen. They need 8-10 inches and my hair would be up around my ears if I did that... and that would make my husband cry. ;)

19 comments:

Brittany said...

I said a prayer for you guys. Good luck on the planning, I'm sure it's even harder to plan so sleep deprived!

leemeandthegirls said...

Hey! Praying for you and your sweet boy. Just wanted to let you know that you can also donate your hair to Beautiful Lengths, it's a non-profit who provides wigs for adult women who've lost their hair due to breast cancer. They take a minimum of 8 inches. BUT, if you donate your hair (any length at all) to Locks of Love, they sell any hair that's too short to make a wig out of and use the money to fund their organization. I donated mine recently, and so did my daughter! You can read our post about it here:
http://leemeandthegirls.blogspot.com/2011/01/like-mother-like-daughter.html

Anna said...

Please go easy on yourself. I know that I kept hearing the majic time was about eight weeks home things clicked. Sure enough after about 6-8 weeks things were much better. (and we had a 4.5 year old!) I hope you have people in your circle of friends and family that can help with a few meals and such. I found that our circle of friends didnt shower us with the types of things that are typical when a family has a new baby. But I have adult children now and they were a HUGE blessing and help. I napped every day. Saying prayers...

Leigh said...

Praying you figure out a good schedule for all of you soon and that every day Tucker is growing more secure within your family! He is such a cutie, can't get enough of him!

laura said...

you'll get there friend. :) slow and steady.

Caroline said...

At the begining, all our kids slept in bed with us, or in a crib/playpen right next to our bed. We never could let our children just cry it out to sleep. :( Anyhow.. . . . I'll pray for a loose schedule! Just remember to get basics done, ie: laundry, food, wiping of surfaces and maybe a quick vacuum if you are not too exhausted! :)

Kim said...

You'll figure it all out in time... I always tried to remind myself with my babies that as long as all of the basics were taken care of, the rest can wait!

Claire Kiefer said...

He is just so sweet, and I've come to love your blog & reading about your new family. Tucker is as lucky to have you guys as y'all are to have him. And that little belly is the cutest! I hope you figure out your routines soon, although I know the exhaustion is worth it. Congratulations again!

Bobbi said...

One day (soon) you'll look around you and think...oh, I've got it...I have myself back. I felt like that at about three months. Hehehe...of course, I'm a co-sleeper kind of mama...it takes a little longer probably. My kids are VERY secure though! HEhehe!

Question: I notice you are covering Tucker's face again...I thought the adoption was final and we were allowed to see his cuteness? Just curious how that all works?

Anna said...

sweetheart, wave the white flag if you need. My e-mail is: Pansi2@aol.com
from a momma thats "been there, done that" recently. Still even having to be patient with myself some days. (like today. PMS. sigh.)

button3 said...

Darling...cut yourself some slack! Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day, or a few weeks.I say "schedule, sch-medule!"Get to know your little bean and just love on him & take care of the basics on a daily basis, i.e. hygiene & sustenance. :)As you get to know him & his patterns come through, you'll ease into a schedule/routine.Just my opinion, but I never have, 4 kids later, put myself or my household on a timed schedule.Meaning we had to be up & whatever at a certain time.Spending time with my precious Buttons is more important to me than anything else in the world, including laundry!But somehow,by the grace of God it always gets done.My vote is to simply chill out & let the Lord & your sweet little boy lead you. Praying for you guys 'round the clock! Lots of love too!!

Alicia said...

Oh yes...it's so hard to get in the groove of things when you have a baby! EVERYTHING changes. You're like in zombie mode all the time!! But, don't worry, my friend, it will all work itself out. Laundry will always be there, and thank God for a helpful husband because I'm sure he doesn't expect home cooked meals right now. Like you said, what's needed the most is your undivided attention to Tucker. :)

Critty said...

Praying lots for you my friend.... Life is completely different in such a beautiful way for the three of you. With time things are going to settle in.... Tucker is going to become more and more secure and know home in his heart.

YOU do what is best for your family and no worries about anything else. You and John are wonderful parents and that Tucker is one lucky fellow. (One cute one too!)

Kate said...

Girl, my heart goes out to you!! We are trying to get a schedule, too, but it's hard!! My advice always is do what is best for your baby and for you as a family! Even if it's up all night and sleeping during the day! Tucker is such a special gift from God and do whatever it takes to honor God each day for His gift to you! Love you and am praying for you! And your hubby, too!!

belle said...

how precious!!!!!!!! cut yourself BIG slack dear friend! pare down the basics to THE BASICS! the rest will either disappear or wait for you!!!

here's a tip i've picked up along the way that might help (might not... take it with a grain of salt) if you FLEXIBLY work on a day schedule first... like a flexibly consistent wake up/eat/nap time (i've found that order to work best for some reason?!?!?!).... sleep training happens on its own eventually. key here is of course flexible :) bonding is more important. stay focused on loving that amazingly beautiful son of yours:))))

Amber said...

"A consistent bed time and wake up time for all of us (this is really hard because we're up 6-7 times per night with Tucker so we wake up any time between 6-8am.) For those who want to come in strong with the sleep training advice or the "let him cry it out" method - thank you, but we can't do that. Things are very different with an adopted child and his security and bonding are at stake. We won't be able to do any sleep training for quite some time, and the most important thing right now is to make him feel as safe and loved as possible. That means when he cries (even if it's every hour) we get up and go to him. This also means we are very tired... but it is worth it"

OH SO TRUE!!! Keep pressing on girl. My adopted niece took a lot of work, sweat, tears, love, and prayers, but has come a long way with 100% focus on attachment parenting. I know she would not be where she is today if my brother in law and sister in law had not be so faithful to responding to her needs in this way.

Amber said...

BTW, I am sure you have read tons of stuff, but I wanted to pass a few links along from my sister-in-laws blog, that she posted in 2007 while walking through a situation similar to yours:

http://thecullumfamily.blogspot.com/2007/10/year-of-therapy.html

http://thecullumfamily.blogspot.com/2007/08/brain-day.html

http://thecullumfamily.blogspot.com/2007/07/prema-can.html

cob0322 said...

Be easy on yourself! Things will find a way of getting done. You have plenty of friends and family who will be happy to come by and help you get laundry done or anything else you might need until you get into the swing of things.
As for letting him cry it out.....don't sweat that yet. He is still getting comfortable and getting used to you and John. Feel no guilt about going to him when he cries! Enjoy those moment of holding and comforting him!

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

So thankful you are NOT listening to the pressure from the "sleep training" moms. Oh. My. No.

Even with my bio. babies, I LOVED them when they needed loving. I do NOT believe that ANY child under 1 (or 2?) can be "spoiled".

"Sleep Training" may be in the best interest of the parents, but I do not believe it is in the best interest of the children. They need to know that you are there for them ... to be secure in your love.

My 3 oldest children did not sleep through the night until they were 2 years old. Then, by the time #3 turned 2, I had twins to keep me up all night. Seriously, I don't think that I slept through the night for a solid 8 years ... but I am NOT complaining. I am here to take care of my children ... with a servant's heart. "I" am not the focus. Life is NOT about "ME".

It's been 9 years since my youngest was born. I miss the middle of the night nursing ... and snuggles. I am looking forward to Baby #13's arrival in October. Bring on the night feedings and diapers. I'm ready!

:) :) :)