This quote is particularly convicting. As it suggests, we all struggle with the sin of pride and it can surface in so many different ways. I've been thinking a lot about pride and how it surfaces in this blog world I've become a part of.
It is so easy to get caught up in the numbers. Many bloggers encourage this, and in fact there are many whose sole purpose is to get as many "followers" as possible. My question is, why? I guess I can understand a little bit if blogging is your source of income. The more clicks, the more you make. But, what about us who are just blogging for the fun of it and for the community we're a part of? Why are followers so important? Could it be because it makes us feel good? Could it be that the more people who want to read our blogs makes us feel validated and better about ourselves? Could it be that it makes us feel important... worthy?
I've started recognizing another trend in the blog world. If you are a female Christian blogger you might recognize it as well. The blogs are pretty, the photographs in each post look professional, the words are flowery and full of deep theological ideas and ponderings... and then a book is written, then a speaking engagement at a blog conference, then another book, and conference. None of this is wrong. I am not saying that at all. But I start to wonder how pride begins to play a part. Let me explain with 100% honesty -
I read these blogs and find encouragement in many of the posts. I become interested in the author and her life. Then she publishes a book and I must read it. Then I find out she's speaking at a blog conference and I go to the conference site. There I read that the conference is a must for all Christian bloggers. You simply must go. Anybody who is anybody will be there! Then I get sucked in. I want to go to the conference! I want to learn how to build my readership, make my blog photos look professional, my posts more eye catching and sensational... and I want to write a book! But why? When I really stop that train and think about why I want all this as well the answer isn't so pretty... pride.
Their lives look so pretty and glamorous. Their books are wildly popular and their names are splashed all over the web. Their families seem perfect and their children are dolls. But this isn't Hollywood we're talking about - it's Christian women. So I rationalize that this type of fame is fine - good, even. And then it hits me - the motivation behind all of this (for me) would be to seek my own fame and not the Lord's. Ugly ugly ugly pride. Then I re evaluate. I think about the blogs I read that convict me. The ones that bring me to my knees in prayer and worship. The ones that lead me closer to Jesus and motivate me to serve Him even when it's hard. Those bloggers aren't as popular. Their pictures aren't of gorgeous, perfectly groomed homes and children. Instead I see images of children with no shoes in mud huts. I see pictures of men with no fingers but smiles on their faces. The words I read don't make me feel defeated and not good enough while I run out to get new clothes, make up, and things to re decorate my home. Instead they shed light on true need. They encourage me in my walk of faith and convict me of my sin. They are examples of what it looks like to follow God where HE goes.... following him into the hard places and being his hands and feet. And then I know why I love those blogs to much. It's because Christ is made known through them.
I've been pondering all this as it applies to my blog. I've been praying about my heart, my pride, and how I can make Christ more known and myself less. One truth keeps coming to my heart - my worth is in Jesus alone... not in numbers. My treasure is in heaven not on earth so I do not need nor desire the perfect home, most fashionable trends, and latest fads. And TRUE JOY comes from knowing Jesus, serving him in all things, and glorifying HIS name. I am seeking. Seeking to make more of Him and less of me...
How about you? Do you struggle with pride? What are problem areas for you and what do you do to combat pride?